At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
