i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
