So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
