I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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