just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
