We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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