I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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