also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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