I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
