So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
