Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
