Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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