i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
