"it" just moved
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
