is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dick very happy bro
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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