i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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