He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
