Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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