He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
