I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
