I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
