I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
