He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
