Im at strip club and am horny
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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