Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
