First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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