I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
