I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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