He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
