You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
