so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
