It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
