just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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