Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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