i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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