If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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