i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
