somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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