Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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