my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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