Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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