just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
