in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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