i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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