you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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