u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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