im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I need water and some morals
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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