So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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