Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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