she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
