Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
