do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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